I’ve been in bit of a parenting slump lately. I’ve been so frustrated… with my son and his tempter tantrums, with myself for not being a parent who knows how to handle it, for having to even deal with these issues in the first place. Just getting through the day has been the name of the game lately. Simple dinner? Perfect. Putting the baby to bed early? Yes, absolutely.
One thing that has amazed me about motherhood is the amount of GUILT I face over every single decision. What the heck? Before I had Baby C, I was a confident, self sufficient woman. Now I’m always looking for permission; permission to give Baby C a time out, permission to give him mac ‘n cheese for dinner for 3 nights in a row because that’s all he’ll eat right now, permission to quit the cloth diapering (that one was a no-brainer; I hardly have time to wash clothes, much less diapers). I’m not too sure if the guilt thing has anything to do with the fact that I come from an Italian Catholic family - we’re experts in guilt. Blaming my upbringing won’t solve anything but right now it makes me feel better… so I’ll just blame the Catholics… not the Italians (I’m all about the pasta right now so I’ll forgive them just because of the good food and wine).
I've been doing a lot of reading lately about the "terrible twos". Maybe I’m going through the terrible two’s, too! I’m frustrated, tired and hungry from my demanding baby. Maybe my child is just misunderstood right now. He's been crabby and loud lately. Maybe he's just frustrated because he hasn't started talking yet.
I've decided to try baby sign language. (Sigh… I’ve become one of those mothers.) I hate to hop on the hippie bandwagon, but if it will make my house less chaotic, I'll try it. We'll see how it goes. When I ask Baby C to "say bye bye" or "night night" or something like that, he just looks at me like I'm nuts. I wonder if he'll do the same with the baby sign language or if he’ll take to it. I'll keep you posted.
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