Monday, July 9, 2012

I'm A Step Mom

Those words have an interesting connotation. We have memories of stories with the “wicked step mother” from way back in our childhood. For a long time I thought that the step mother was the bad guy or just the one who wasn’t really the Mom… more like a glorified babysitter.

Now that I’m here, in this place, I get it. I’m a parent, not a friggin’ babysitter. I make lunches, go to school functions, do homework. That’s what a parent does, right?

Over the past almost 4 years, I’ve experienced it all and I can truly say that being a step mother is damn hard. Let me elaborate:

Scenario 1) You’re cleaning up puke off the carpet. The puke was put there by a kid that frequently gives you attitude and may or may not say the words “you’re not my Mom” while having a meltdown because you asked them to take out the trash.  With your own kid, at least there’s a bond. They love you unconditionally. You’re the one that comforts them, cleans the cuts, kisses the boo boo’s. You’re Mom and that’s a high ranking title.

Scenario 2) The dreaded Ex has called you for the 12th time today, pissed off that you won’t switch one of your holidays with her. She’s irrational and screaming like a banshee.  Even though you try to remain more neutral than Switzerland, it’s impossible. She ends up hanging up the phone saying that her work schedule (cocktail waitress)  is very important and she just can not switch shifts in order to take her child at the allotted time and says (my favorite) “I’m tired of being inconvenienced by you”.

For those of you who have been there, I'm sorry and I get it. I’m at the point where I’m just sick and tired of bad behavior, bad parenting and no accountability ALL THE TIME. Here’s the thing I don’t really get. Who has the time and energy to continue the drama, and the bad behavior on such a long term basis? I’m not too sure if I should be impressed or pissed.

The hard part is being even the least bit zen about the whole situation and let it roll off you like water off a duck’s back. Maybe I need a new yoga mat… or a vodka martini before the yoga… might not help with the balance but it might help with my patience. 

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